“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard for out of it flow the springs of life.” -Proverbs 4:23 (AMP)
As a kid, I bought into the Disney idea of “someday my prince will come” and when he came it meant “happily ever after.” To love and be loved, isn’t that what everyone wants? Inside every person is the desire to be desired, according to my own personal belief.
When I was six, I wanted to be a stay at home mom or else a Christian dancer/performer since I did it all the time in church. The idea of being available for my family 24/7 was my idea of success as a little girl. My dad was the one who worked while my mom sacrificed her job to raise my brothers and I. I wanted to do the same and invest in my kids and their futures. When I was six, I had in my mind that I was going to have a love story like my Nana & Papa. I would meet the man of my dreams at a friend’s wedding as a bridesmaid at around 18 or 20 and my focus would be my kids and grandkids.
When I turned 12, my dad started a computer business and a Christian radio station and I loved it. I had my first radio show at 12. I centered the rest of my career goals around media broadcasting. My focus changed, but I still had in my mind that I was going to have a love story like my Nana & Papa.
When I turned 24, I moved back home. I was done with school and had gone on a totally different path from what I had intended. I stayed in the communication field, but headed towards advertising since media broadcasting became boring to me. Having a passion for what I do is what matters most to me above the money. I wanted to go into tourism to introduce others to my beautiful island home, but ended up back at the radio station my dad started. As for my love story idea, I still had a desire for it but after being a bridesmaid in 18 weddings up unto that point the flame was dying.
Now I’m 26 and I’m teaching. To be honest, I love it. It wasn’t what I anticipated. Instead of having a bunch of kids of my own to focus on and invest in, I gained an opportunity to invest in the lives of other people’s kids. I have the chance to focus on kids that could affect the future of today’s society. 23 weddings later though, my Nana & Papa love story longing disappeared and I started to settle for guys who displayed clearly through their actions they didn’t care as much as they said. In other words, they were a$$holes.
Life isn’t always what most expect from it. I believe God orchestrates everything and most of the time I don’t understand whats going on, but I’ve had to learn to trust Him. He gave me this job as a teacher to fulfill my childhood desire to help and invest in others and to create art by working with my church kids in the area of dance and drama. Just recently I’ve decided to let Him take over my love story. In His time, my God makes all things beautiful. My job is to guard my heart and the people and situations I allow to affect it because it clearly affects everything in my life including my future as much as it did my past.